It has been another really hard week. This week the menu consisted of intermittent really uncomfortable neurological symptoms that just... well, there is no way to say it politely... they just suck. The inflammation cascade I had from what was likely a massive Lyme bacteria die-off and subsequent Herxheimer reaction left me with a fried nervous system. One minute okay and then the next minute really not okay. I have had to stop the antimicrobial medication that I was on until my body can recover. I have spent ridiculous amounts of money on doctor visits and IV therapy to try to bring me back from what felt like the abyss. I am in the busiest time of the year at my work and I feel hopelessly behind. My spiritual teacher and my mother are both here for a week, my daughter is getting ready to go to a new school and what I am doing? Barely hanging on. I'm worn out. I feel like I have no reserves left and the ship is sinking. And in some ways I would rather it sink that live in my current reality. I pray for strength to get through this very challenging time. I know I need to stay positive but tonight I feel like my "positive thinking tank" is just empty.
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