Snakes and Roses

The snakes of depression, anxiety, hopelessness seem to have slithered into my life again. They have come many times over the years. Sometimes the bite is severe and other times I can just be aware of their presence and somehow manage.  To be going through Lyme treatment and the associated side effects of the bacteria dying in the brain at the same time as my week of PMS (when the snakes like to come) feels like too much. I wonder if finally I will get bitten by a rattle snake and be put out of my misery.
Then the reality hits that the snakes are not really there, nor is the misery. There needn't be a cure for an imaginary snake bite. All I have to do is remind myself again and again that I am still the same person this week as I was last week. I just happen to be living in a "as though" snake pit at the moment. I know all the cliches, "This too shall pass. Look on the bright side." Blah, Blah, Blah. I can even one up that since I have been studying Vedanta for years. "You are the limitless happiness that upholds the sadness." I have the same response. Blah, Blah, Blah. I know on weeks like this it is just about survival. Putting one foot in front of the other, staying as present as possible, self-care, etc. When you feel as if the giant cobra snake is squeezing the life out of you self-care just doesn't seem feasible. I think I have to do more than just have an intention to use the self-care tools I know that have worked in the past. Drastic times call for drastic measures. I think it is time for a list....

1) Make fresh herbal tea from the garden
2) Pick roses (focusing on the beauty and not the black spot)
3) Lay in the hammock and read or just listen to the birds
4) Sauna and hot tub (since I am blessed to have both)
5) A leisurely walk with the dog
6) A trip to the rose garden with my daughter
7) Call my friend to help me buy flowers and plant them in my two empty beds
8) Listen to inspirational guided meditations
9) Gentle yoga
10) Back Flower Essences
11) Finally open the deck of inspirational cards my co-worker loaned me
12) Pray in the beautiful shrine that happens to be conveniently located in my backyard
13) Make lavender wands with my daughter
14) Fill in a mandala in the coloring book
15) Pick fresh herbs to dry
16) Make yummy food from the fresh veggies and herbs in the garden

I must say I feel calmer and less "snake infested" just typing this list. That was the goal. Now time to pick something of the list!