Sunday, January 6, 2013

Happy New Year

Happy New Year!

I have been laying in bed today recovering from a beautiful day at friend's New Year's party and reflecting on what this year can bring for me. Just maybe I can repeatedly surround myself with that which supports and nourishes me. And just maybe the myriad of symptoms will improve, including the hopelessness and feeling of "overwhelm" trying to figure out how to treat this disease and to figure out what helps. I have been witnessing the power of being present and letting myself feel supported. This support can be from the Universe through the amazing Goddess cards I have been working with, or a newly revitalized yoga practice, or letting friends help and support me, or just letting myself be held by someone that loves me. I can also support myself through my breath, through being calm and allowing myself to connect to what helps and through surrendering the fear and resistance just a bit.

Someone recently mentioned to me that my read my writings but not always as they were just wrenching. It's true, they are wrenching. This disease is just wrenching. More than words can express or anyone can really understand without experiencing it. But, what I have been seeing these last few weeks, is I must be gentle and connect to what helps -- repeatedly. Whether that is a walk in nature, lighting a candle and listening to sweet music, recognizing it is necessary to take strong medication to help a spike in a symptom,  or accepting that my neurological system is on overload and the kindest thing to do for myself and my family is to shut the door and go to bed.

This new year is not about resolutions or some big statement of what I will do to change or how I will beat this disease. I think it is about the subtle shifts in my relating to myself and the world that I have seen working at times these last few weeks. May this new year bring shifts in my healing (and in everyone's healing) and may I have the proper vision to see my role in how to dance with this disease and at the same time, be well.