Last year at this time I was lamenting that it had been a year of constant pain in my head. The pain has not changed, but something has. The daily pain, with spikes so severe there are no words to describe them, still sits on me like an albatross. Maybe that is the difference. It may be there (attempting to weigh me down or claw into my back), but sometimes I don't really notice. I am grateful when I can mostly go about my day without giving it much attention. I do what needs to be done - the 50 pills and potions - the this and the that. And sometimes, by some miracle, I don't lament having to do it to keep going. Sometimes, even occasionally, to achieve this distance and acceptance feels like a bit of a miracle. Living with Lyme disease, attempting to shift this body towards health and wellness and live my life is such a dance. When I can immerse myself in the dance and not keep track so much of the data, it somehow isn't as overwhelming. Yes, March 20th marked the two year anniversary of the severe flare of Lyme disease in which my life dramatically changed. But, instead of lamenting it, I celebrated the Spring Equinox with my family. It was about new beginnings, telling stories and having fun. Somehow that is what must happen, even amongst what sometimes feel like intolerable symptoms. Again, the dance of long term illness. Grateful for even the smallest shifts in these last two years. Looking forward to more shifts toward wellness!
