Sitting here noticing that although I often fake it and make it, persevere to the point that most onlookers have no idea anything is wrong, this damn disease impacts me so much every freaking minute of every freaking day. The pain, the anxiety, the awkwardness, the changes in relationships, the_______ fill in the f*&%^*&%ing blank. There is so much there that is just really foreign that has snuck under the covers to infiltrate what is my day to day existence. What seemed so strange now feels like the norm. It's sucks. I look on the bright side, not dwell it in, blah blah blah...but sometimes the reality of how illness changes your life in difficult ways just stands there staring you in the face. Tonight is one of those nights.
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