I feel as if I have been tumbled about on a roller coaster ride these last few weeks. Would rather not relive the trials and tribulations. Somehow though I want to capture the essence in a short manner. Doing anything small has never been my forte. I will give it an honest effort.
I am getting stronger. Can't deny that. The treatment (traditional Chinese herbal medicine, Chinese/Japanese traditional treatments, supplements and vitamins, thyroid and immune support medication, saunas, detox baths, walks, massage, counseling, clean diet, rest alternating with activity, etc. etc.) seems to be moving me in the right direction. For that I am very grateful. So many symptoms are calming down. But somehow, the gradual calming of the ever-so-familiar symptoms is making room for new, or even very old symptoms/patterns, to show themselves. I should probably be grateful for this too. I must say opening that gratitude jar is a lot more challenging.
Any illness, any chronic long-term journey towards wellness, really brings forth all that needs healing. This is happening in a MAJOR way in my life. I gotta say it is super tough. Trying to focus on all the positive (go to in a pinch) cliches. Everything happens for a reason. God only gives us what we can handle. Blah blah blah. It is how it is. It is all part of the order. I try to make these sentences drown out the, "Seriously this is happening to me! WHY? I've had enough!" The later battle cry doesn't help anything. Everything that is happening is happening because for some reason it is supposed to. I must listen to the subtle messages and move forward in this time of healing in whatever way necessary. (Remind me of that next I am whining and screaming to make this scary roller coaster ride stop!).
I am getting stronger. Can't deny that. The treatment (traditional Chinese herbal medicine, Chinese/Japanese traditional treatments, supplements and vitamins, thyroid and immune support medication, saunas, detox baths, walks, massage, counseling, clean diet, rest alternating with activity, etc. etc.) seems to be moving me in the right direction. For that I am very grateful. So many symptoms are calming down. But somehow, the gradual calming of the ever-so-familiar symptoms is making room for new, or even very old symptoms/patterns, to show themselves. I should probably be grateful for this too. I must say opening that gratitude jar is a lot more challenging.
Any illness, any chronic long-term journey towards wellness, really brings forth all that needs healing. This is happening in a MAJOR way in my life. I gotta say it is super tough. Trying to focus on all the positive (go to in a pinch) cliches. Everything happens for a reason. God only gives us what we can handle. Blah blah blah. It is how it is. It is all part of the order. I try to make these sentences drown out the, "Seriously this is happening to me! WHY? I've had enough!" The later battle cry doesn't help anything. Everything that is happening is happening because for some reason it is supposed to. I must listen to the subtle messages and move forward in this time of healing in whatever way necessary. (Remind me of that next I am whining and screaming to make this scary roller coaster ride stop!).
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