I am noticing the subtle effects of words and actions. Often we see the direct effect of words but not the myriad of changes that happen underneath the surface. Let's take the common phrase "fighting Lyme disease." I have said this many times and even accepted a tag on facebook making this my job. I was looking at the title just a few moments ago when my feelings around this became clear.
The word "fight" implies a lot. First of all, I have to be the one fighting, there is something or someone to fight against, there will be a winner and a loser and there will be casualties from the war. Hmmm. I don't think I want to do that in my body. I am a deeply spiritual being and don't for a second see myself as the doer. So, out goes the notion of me "fighting." I of course want to thrive as a winner, but the bacteria thinks itself to be apart of my body. So does that make me the loser too? Double hmmm. Any time there is a fight there are causalities or at least some sort of fall out. I want to be well. I don't want to damage myself in the process. Okay, no more hmmm-ing. This is pretty clear. There will be no fighting.
If there is no fighting Lyme disease how will I be well? Can I be well without "beating this" or "winning." Again, these phrases are implying "us and them' and that there will be winners and losers. Maybe there is a way that I can walk towards wellness. Maybe there is a way I can heal and make it so all these uninvited bacteria guests will decide living in this body called Faith isn't really the best place to be. Maybe there is a way I can inspire my own immune system to create balance and dissipate what need not be there while encouraging what needs to be there to be present and flourish.
I want to heal and be well. I don't need to win or beat anything. I don't want to "have Lyme disease" or have it encompass my thoughts day after day. I just want to thrive, to live without ridiculous amounts of pain and be able to participate in my life. I want to not be at battle with myself or feel as if there is a battle being waged inside me to which I have no say in the matter. I just want to heal and be well. Really praying now is the time.
The word "fight" implies a lot. First of all, I have to be the one fighting, there is something or someone to fight against, there will be a winner and a loser and there will be casualties from the war. Hmmm. I don't think I want to do that in my body. I am a deeply spiritual being and don't for a second see myself as the doer. So, out goes the notion of me "fighting." I of course want to thrive as a winner, but the bacteria thinks itself to be apart of my body. So does that make me the loser too? Double hmmm. Any time there is a fight there are causalities or at least some sort of fall out. I want to be well. I don't want to damage myself in the process. Okay, no more hmmm-ing. This is pretty clear. There will be no fighting.
If there is no fighting Lyme disease how will I be well? Can I be well without "beating this" or "winning." Again, these phrases are implying "us and them' and that there will be winners and losers. Maybe there is a way that I can walk towards wellness. Maybe there is a way I can heal and make it so all these uninvited bacteria guests will decide living in this body called Faith isn't really the best place to be. Maybe there is a way I can inspire my own immune system to create balance and dissipate what need not be there while encouraging what needs to be there to be present and flourish.
I want to heal and be well. I don't need to win or beat anything. I don't want to "have Lyme disease" or have it encompass my thoughts day after day. I just want to thrive, to live without ridiculous amounts of pain and be able to participate in my life. I want to not be at battle with myself or feel as if there is a battle being waged inside me to which I have no say in the matter. I just want to heal and be well. Really praying now is the time.
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