I am definitely at a crossroads once again in my life. It is time to look all around and with caution, transition towards what lies ahead. This is not an easy time but it is full of hope. This time I choose to not be overly fearful and to trust that what is needed will be shown to me. I really feel I have no choice. When I let the fear overtake I just end up in a ditch. The goal now is to see this crossroads as a blessing that will unfold into the next chapter.
What chapter is ending? Year one of diagnosis and treatment (operation get Faith stronger and bomb the little buggers) is coming to a close. I can't help but wish the "crushing headache" chapter was closing, but it is not to be (yet). I don't regret the treatment choices but I can see that my body is not tolerating the "bomb them" approach very well. I react intensely to even the smallest amount of herbal anti-microbial or antibiotic. I can't deny that I have gotten stronger, but I am still so very sick and seem to crash so very easily. I have grown weary of this yo-yo routine.
My naturopath and psychiatrist (both Lyme literate) are moving in May/June. Initial utter panic and despair is starting to ease. Now I am seeing more clearly. Doors are already starting to open. But which to choose? Hmmm, that is still not clear. There is not an obvious naturopath either locally or in Oregon that feels quite right. I am praying that too will become more evident with time. For now what is crystal clear is I have to trust myself to move slowly forward and to really listen to that wisdom that is guiding me.
I am feeling drawn again to my roots - the plant world and the many allies that are there. This morning I was spending time looking into Teasel, Byron White and Cowden Protocols and the Chinese medicine approach. I feel drawn to all of them in one way or another, but which direction to go is not clear. (The Chinese medicine path is feeling very inviting though.)
So what next? Just wait for the traffic to ease and which way to turn at the crossroads will be evident. Breathe and wait. Trust my body. We have come this far and will be lead in the next direction. With caution my body shakes and my breath quickens as I begin to step into the next chapter....
What chapter is ending? Year one of diagnosis and treatment (operation get Faith stronger and bomb the little buggers) is coming to a close. I can't help but wish the "crushing headache" chapter was closing, but it is not to be (yet). I don't regret the treatment choices but I can see that my body is not tolerating the "bomb them" approach very well. I react intensely to even the smallest amount of herbal anti-microbial or antibiotic. I can't deny that I have gotten stronger, but I am still so very sick and seem to crash so very easily. I have grown weary of this yo-yo routine.
My naturopath and psychiatrist (both Lyme literate) are moving in May/June. Initial utter panic and despair is starting to ease. Now I am seeing more clearly. Doors are already starting to open. But which to choose? Hmmm, that is still not clear. There is not an obvious naturopath either locally or in Oregon that feels quite right. I am praying that too will become more evident with time. For now what is crystal clear is I have to trust myself to move slowly forward and to really listen to that wisdom that is guiding me.
I am feeling drawn again to my roots - the plant world and the many allies that are there. This morning I was spending time looking into Teasel, Byron White and Cowden Protocols and the Chinese medicine approach. I feel drawn to all of them in one way or another, but which direction to go is not clear. (The Chinese medicine path is feeling very inviting though.)
So what next? Just wait for the traffic to ease and which way to turn at the crossroads will be evident. Breathe and wait. Trust my body. We have come this far and will be lead in the next direction. With caution my body shakes and my breath quickens as I begin to step into the next chapter....
Love, love, love this! I have to say-people report herxing with Cowden and White just as they do with Western medicine. The most appealing aspect of Chinese medicine as treatment for Lyme is not suffering horribly while following protocol, not to mention the bonus of seeing your progress more clearly. Whatever you choose-it is definitely time for you to move forward in your treatment. Hugs and love to you Faith-thank you so much for sharing!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your response! I do know about the herxing potential with Cowden (as I was on Samento and Banderol herxed VERY badly) but haven't heard much anecdotal report regarding Byron White formulas. Currently I am using detox products from both regimens. I am on Rifampin for just two weeks and extremely tired of it already. If I did use antimicrobrials from either herbal protocol I would go much slower than they recommend. I am very intrigued by the Chinese medicine approach, but know very little about it. I am going to call someone in Portland on Monday to learn more and to see how it resonates with me.
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