I don't have anything witty or profound to say today. No big revelations or point to this post. Today I am happy and sad at the same time. Really guys, I am tired of being sick. I am tired of trying to live life, stay positive, enjoy and accept what is while being so sick. I am really tired of it.
Today went like this.
Woke up relieved and sad that I had found homes for two of my beloved kitties. Found homes for them because I just can't take care of everything I used to -- have to simplify life a bit. Had very little energy and was late doing my morning prayer ritual. Tried to juggle finishing my morning puja and tending to cat kennel customers (my business) at the same time. Then it was time to "check off the list" before going on a play-hooky-from-work-day-time-date with my husband.
Take meds, check. Scoop dog poop, check. Pick zucchini that I should have picked days ago, check. Find warm clothes, check. Eat something, check. Call customers, check. Want to cry and go back to bed because I am too tired to go on.....ignore. Instead, laugh with my husband, smile, get the car an oil change that is 7,000 miles late and finally head to the coast. Sleep the whole way because it was either that or pass out or cry. Nightmare dream about my daughter and her dramas with school bullies that keep tormenting her in the community. Wake up at the coast. Eat lunch. Walk on the beautiful beach and take a nap in the sun with my sweet, sweet husband. Barely make it up the steps to get to the car because the hips don't want to work. Use the bathroom a million times because the bladder is retaining urine and not emptying. Crawl back into the car and fall back asleep because everything hurts so badly. Wake up as we arrive at home.
No more energy. Check email and Facebook. Text some friends. Try to find a home for sweet, old shit eating neurotic dog. Lay in the bed with a crushing headache watching a lovely movie with my sweet husband. Attempt to get up to cook something and end up in bed before even starting. Sweet husband is steaming the zucchini. Bless him. Try to ignore the fact that I feel so stinking ill and that I am so bloody tired of feeling this way.....
Today went like this.
Woke up relieved and sad that I had found homes for two of my beloved kitties. Found homes for them because I just can't take care of everything I used to -- have to simplify life a bit. Had very little energy and was late doing my morning prayer ritual. Tried to juggle finishing my morning puja and tending to cat kennel customers (my business) at the same time. Then it was time to "check off the list" before going on a play-hooky-from-work-day-time-date with my husband.
Take meds, check. Scoop dog poop, check. Pick zucchini that I should have picked days ago, check. Find warm clothes, check. Eat something, check. Call customers, check. Want to cry and go back to bed because I am too tired to go on.....ignore. Instead, laugh with my husband, smile, get the car an oil change that is 7,000 miles late and finally head to the coast. Sleep the whole way because it was either that or pass out or cry. Nightmare dream about my daughter and her dramas with school bullies that keep tormenting her in the community. Wake up at the coast. Eat lunch. Walk on the beautiful beach and take a nap in the sun with my sweet, sweet husband. Barely make it up the steps to get to the car because the hips don't want to work. Use the bathroom a million times because the bladder is retaining urine and not emptying. Crawl back into the car and fall back asleep because everything hurts so badly. Wake up as we arrive at home.
No more energy. Check email and Facebook. Text some friends. Try to find a home for sweet, old shit eating neurotic dog. Lay in the bed with a crushing headache watching a lovely movie with my sweet husband. Attempt to get up to cook something and end up in bed before even starting. Sweet husband is steaming the zucchini. Bless him. Try to ignore the fact that I feel so stinking ill and that I am so bloody tired of feeling this way.....
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